Monday, December 19, 2005

Sadness

We went back to Temerloh again yesterday. Yes, to visit grandpa. I was hoping that he would be better than last week.

We were welcomed by grandma. Aunt Ying was already having lunch with Aunt Yeen and Eunice, my youngest cousin (dad's side). Samantha was sick. She claimed that she had food poisoning as she has been purging and throwing up. Grandpa was sleeping. He slept for most of the time that we were there.

Uncle Fatt came back late in the arvo. It was his birthday so we all wished him. Samuel (his son, my cousin, Samantha's bro), didn't even know! Haha.. we had a good laugh. We had an even better laugh when Aunt Ying told us the story of how she and Aunty Mercy (her maid) were taken down by a rat they found. We all laughed till we cried. Coincidentally, I heard a noise coming from the back of my right ear. They heard it, too. We guessed that it was a baby bird or something. We looked, we stopped, and we looked. Dad found that it was a rat hiding in between the front tyre of the motorcycle and the mudguard. Aunt Ying quickly moved away.

After dinner, I went into grandpa's room. I held his hand and I called him. He looked at me hard but he didn't seem to have the strength to maintain his gaze. He tried to say something but he couldn't. I'm guessing that he was trying to say my name. At that moment, I felt really sad. Aunt Ying said he hasn't spoken for 3 days. He couldn't feed himself anymore. He doesn't even have enough strength to keep his eyes open.

My grandpa loved me dearly, as I was his first grandchild. I enjoyed my time with him. To see him in such a helpless state is painful. Dad thinks that his time is near. It would be any day now. I don't know how grandma is taking it but I am certainly not holding up as well as I did when greatgrandma passed away (and that was also the day Josh broke up with me).

I will be hanging out with Yin Lee and the rest of the volleyball gang tomorrow. Hopefully, that will take my mind off grandpa for a while. In the mean time, I can only pray for his well-being and happiness.

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